Monday, 15 March 2010

Dave -v- Sir Trevor: a Heavyweight Contest

I have been given an exclusive transcript of the programme on David Cameron, with interviews with Sir Trevor MacDonald, which went out on ITV last night.

Sir T. "Now Mr Cameron. You're a jolly nice fellow, aren't you?"

Dave "I am. Yes."

Sir T. "And you have a pretty wife, don't you."

Dave " Yes I do. I'm very lucky".

Sir T. "Indeed you are."

Dave "Yes. I am very fortunate indeed "

Sir T. "OK That's the pleasantries over. Let's not beat about the bush, I have to put some tough questions to you..."

Dave "That's all right Sir Trevor, I would expect nothing less".

Sir T. puts on his sternest look... "You would make a very good PM, wouldn't you?"

Dave "Ahem..."

Sir T. looks even more stern if that's possible..."No need to be modest. You would make a very good PM, wouldn't you?".

Dave " Well, y'know. Modesty... people of Britain ..voters...not for me to say...".

Sir T. "Now now. There's modesty and there's false modesty...what do you say?".

Dave "You're right of course. But pure modesty stops me from saying it outright.... so thanks for raising the matter...".

Sir T. "Well, Prime Minister.."

Dave "Not yet, of course. We don't want to jump the gun..".

Sir T "Of course not Pri.. sorry Mr Cameron....and of course you're tough as well".

Dave "Well some say..."

Sir T. "As tough as Brown anyway....".

Sam butts in " Tougher. Way way tougher. He leaves his underpants on the floor everynight. Just throws them down.... like that...."

Sir T. "That tough. Gosh..... And of course he's the perfect husband...".

Sam "Not pefect. He throws his underpants on the floor. Every night...".

Sit T. "But apart from that..."

Sam "Well yes, apart from that, he is perfect..".

Sam smiles at Dave. Dave smiles at Sam. Sir Trevor looks on benevolently...


Adverts for soft soap....and other fluffy products..

It carries on in this challenging manner for a seemingly endless time..

If anyone wants copy of the full transcript, you only have to ask...

..or cut and paste and repeat the above a number of times.....

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